Forbidden & Permissible

I feel pain when I read my previous post on how daring i am to post a slut picture or simply called gay… SUCH A UGLY ASS HOLE!! I shall delete that post after this weekend!

A big Thanks to ray who called me in the middle of the night and her words just enlightened me and changed me! Also thanks to fatso who always tell me what she had told me, but you know… I can be bit fascist! HAHAHAHA! No lah!!! Just kidding!

For people who know me ( not just merely add me in Friendster or just meet for few days and smack ass break up), I am those very quiet and shy boy. When friends are talking, you will see me walk behind! Whenever people do things, you will see me I am always the follower.

HELL THAT IS NOT THE TRUE ME!

In-fact, I can did Lot better, lots better!

During the camp, the hyper active ray manage to guide the very “on” campers ( I really miss them lot). As for me, I will be always hiding behind her! Excuse me! I am a guy and I know I can do better than her!

* Don;t slap me , Ray!

Honesty, during the whole camp, I feel like shouting at ALL the campers to treat this camp as a camp and not chalet. It is only i hide it inside, don’t dare to shout at them. Alright I am from NPCC last time but I failed to be in the training group, i get posted as welfare head! So you can say…I am bloody noob in commanding people!

Think again…I join Takewando since primary three and got a junior black belt when I am primary six! Then, I can shout at people older than me ” knock it down”, HOW COME I just don’t have the balls to do it now!

Back to the camp…

Seriously, I always tell myself, this camp lack of discipline and how much I wish got some one will enforce on it! THAT SOME ONE IS THE ONE WHO IS PONDERING! Argh!

The thing need to be done, is to be daring! Really daring! Or just put it simply, I want the guys to learn!

Secondary school friends and some poly friends all know I am a very funny guy! Is damn funny! I can dance in the public, say vulgarities on the train and have different funny facial expression! But why the Akatsuki or my classmates know it yet?

They all see me as those quiet quiet, always do homework and then go home…WHY! Cause I never show it out to them! And why I never show it out to them…is cause I don’t want disgrace!

“Disgusting, er xin!” trust me ever since i heard from girls whom I crush on…it some how change my entire personality.

In terms of looks…

Sick of repeating myself…ALL MY SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIENDS WHO VIST MY BLOG! TAG IT In My tag box! Saying how ugly I am back in secondary school! I grew up in a full of insulting secondary school life! People call me mo Peng, Pimple boy, Ugly, Shameless whatever, this actually cause me feel inferior!

Once, a secondary school friend of mine say I look better than last time and look shuai! I don’t believe him but am i really that good looking already?

I feel inferior why I not as good looking as my friend is! BUt some how, because of their criticisim, I am what I am today! Not saying i am handsome now, is at least I look presentable!

I always have the shadow and feeling girls saying i am disgusting! Whenever there are friends gathering, I will sense it!

ZHI CONG WAKE UP MAN!!! You are what you are, nothing to hide from people! I know my sexual orientation has been many people concern, but seriously, people will accept who you are! I know I am gentle, more feminine but perhaps this make me have a better personality like caring, understanding and sensitive.

I AM A STRAIGHT! and I want to be a straight even I knew myself I got the potential to be ! I know I like girls and how much I want to have a loving relationship and yes I want to get marry! I got think of how many children I will have in the future and how fortunate my wife will be ! Like my father, i will cook for my family delicate home cuisine!

” I promise her I will marry her at RItz Calton!” THIS IS NOT JUST Merely SAY for fun ! IS TRUE!

So How to bloody hell change my gentleness…

DARING! DARE TO DO THINGS! IT IS THAT DETERMINE WHAT IS A TRUE MAN! I hope I will learn all this from NS!

So to Ray or whoever always wanted to tell me this but no chance, let me tell you now…I shall be a true leo, a lion that roar and not meow! A clever person, has good leadership and

DO something great!

I look forward working with the Akatsuki for the next project. I look forward too!